7 tips to celebrate birthdays at school with the whole class

7 tips to celebrate birthdays at school with the whole class

Here are the 7 tips you need to know to help you send something to school - cupcakes or whatever it is - when it is your school kid’s birthday for their ‘At School Birthday Celebration’.

One of the most important pieces of information that is missing from every school list is – how to manage birthday parties – both at school and out of school.

This is as important as the stationery list, and is relevant for 14 years of the school run.

There is a whole thing as to how school birthday parties work. Know that at some point, your turn will arrive!

As a school mum navigates her journey of settling her school kid and herself into school class rules and routines, there comes another journey of learning – which is the birthday party routine.

Even though this first happens in the first year of pre-school ‘school’, it continues throughout primary and junior school, and into junior high and senior high – all with varying levels of a school mom’s involvement.

Every school kid’s birthday has two parts to it – the 'at school' and the 'out of school' birthday celebration.

At School Birthday Celebration - This is the ‘you need to take something to school’ which is often worded by teacher-world as ‘please feel free to bring in something to share on the actual day of your school kid’s birthday for the class,' followed by…

Out of School Birthday Celebration - This is the birthday party where you invite some or the whole class, which is the subject of a number of articles which I am currently writing as there is enough information to do a whole blog just on this subject!

Here are the 7 tips you need when it is your school kid’s birthday for their ‘At School Birthday Celebration’.

Tip 1 Be aware of the birthday dates of the other school kids in your class

Little did you know that when you joined your first school class for 4 year olds, that a fifth of the class are born in the same month as your school kid, which for the novice school mum means that you need to have something ‘cool’ planned, as you are the fourth party for that month and the 9^th for the year so far, and it’s only four months into the school year!

You feel lucky that your school kid was born at the end of the fourth school month, so that it gives you a couple of months to understand how school birthday parties work.

No one tells you, but organising a birthday school party for 4 and 5 year olds can take more planning than one of your own parties! Who knew! It helps to know whether your school kid shares a birthday with anyone else, or how saturated the school kids in the class are with the different types of things being brought into the class by other school kids.

Most schools have a policy on how the class celebrates birthdays. Some specify no items at all; no food but things like pencils; no nuts; bring what you want food; store-bought only because it has the ingredients listed; or a fruit platter.

The challenge at this age and stage is that your 4 year old will likely remember the colour of the icing only, rather than the ins and out of the birthday celebrations at school, so a chat with teacher-world can help guide you to know what works to bring in.

Tip 2 Always read the fine print of your teacher’s instructions about how the class celebrates birthdays

There is an expected 'unexpected thing' for school mums to do which is to ‘take something to school to celebrate your school kid’s birthday’. You are a school mum who was born without the ‘cake-and-bake’ gene.

You have been to birthday parties in your playgroup where you saw playgroup mums do extraordinary things with something called fondant. At the time you wondered what that was – but now you know that it is the potter’s clay of icing – the icing you have only seen on a wedding cake!

You remember looking over your 4 year old school introductory notes, and noticed that buried deep amongst the seventh paragraph was a small sentence which really needed to be in neon fluoro pens, written on its own bright paper and personally handed to each parent which said “for birthdays, cupcakes to share will be fine. And if you are planning a party, please invite the whole class.”

And that was it. And you thought that was it too!

Except, as you learnt early on in the first few weeks of your first school year, when there were already three birthdays celebrated in the class, that cupcakes are not like the cupcakes you had as a school kid.

Tip 3 Cupcakes are just a cupcake

You remember years’ ago as a big school kid you had eaten something like a cupcake, with the top of it cut out, filled with cream and turned into something called a ‘butterfly cake.’ You have never seen these creations before called ‘cupcakes.’ They are extravagant creations with swirls of buttercream icing (you have learnt about every type of icing since you became a school mum!), in vibrant colours with designs of fairies and animals, and anything and everything.

You have seen school moms from the older class groups (those who have been doing the school run for many more years than you), arrive with huge boxes and containers, loaded with the most beautiful looking little cakes you have ever seen – and you are filled with a rush of ‘omg what am I going to do for my school kid?’

As they walk past you from the school gate to their child’s classroom, you look at what they are carrying for as long as you can – without making it look like you are looking! The cost is not even on your radar yet. Where on earth do you even buy cupcakes like this - and at this time of the morning?

It feels like there is a secret ‘bake-a-cake’ club, where school moms know where to go. One day, as your school kid’s birthday is getting closer, you casually ask a school mom who arrived loaded up with exotic cupcakes “Where did you get your cupcakes?” “Oh my sister in law knows someone,” and off she vanishes. Gone – and she was your only hope of trying to atleast scratch the surface of this mysterious cake baking world.

This is where it is really important to be as awake as you can, and to remember that the birthday cupcake is just a small cake.

It can feel as though it is a status symbol of who can bring the ‘best’ cupcake - but this tends to be only between school moms and not the school kids. And this is where I had started to become unstuck with the seed of self-doubt.

So please don’t even think about doing what I did, which was to worry about how my cupcakes may not be good enough. Ouch!

Of course my cupcakes were good enough – why? Because I am good enough, I am already awesome!

And who are they for – for little school kids.

Tip 4 There is a world of food intolerances for school kids

You quickly learn that there is a world of intolerances, some which are really serious, so nuts are not allowed in the school grounds, and then there is something called celiac. You have heard of it before but not sure what it is. But now you know – it’s for people who have to eat gluten-free, and it turns out that suddenly for the first time in your life it feels as though every second person at school has to eat gluten-free. And now it’s a global trend!

So you wonder what does it mean? Where is gluten anyway?  Everywhere you go there is always someone parent or child who has to eat gluten-free. Even cafes are serving gluten-free cake. What is happening! You find yourself looking for gluten-free recipes online, you buy a gluten-free cookbook and there is something called gluten-free four.  And something else that you found out…to make your cupcakes gluten free, it takes more than a packet of gluten free cake mix. All of your cooking utensils, cooking benches, bowls, towels, everything in your kitchen cannot have any contact with gluten which is in regular flour products, as one crumb of flour from a toaster can make a celiac very ill. This is fyi.

Tip 5 There is power in cake packet mix

Chatting with a school mom after school, you discover there is a packet mix of gluten-free cupcakes – you add milk and that’s it. And the extra special tip – the packet that is for the whole cake mix is better than the packet for the cupcake mix – you simply use the cake mix to make cupcakes! Who would have thought that was possible I remember thinking!

You have always been a strong believer of never using packet mix but things are getting serious now! This packet mix is only in certain shops – and you shop high and low for this packet and you find it – and it works – it makes you sick. You discover after a few trials that anything with gluten-free flour gives you a stomach ache but no one else. Omg!

Tip 6 Plan what you want to do for the class with your school kid - for every age

Your school kid’s birthday is getting closer. You look at the calendar and it turns out that your school kid’s birthday is during the school holidays.

You wonder what do you do when that happens – that wasn’t in your notes.

But as it turns out, there is no need to worry about it as your school kid has zero interest in taking something to school to celebrate her birthday – however you only find this out the week before her birthday when you ask her ‘What would you like to take into school to celebrate your birthday." "Nothing. There is no need, my birthday is already over by the time we go to school.” “Ok” I say and in fact, it turns out that her birthday is always during school holidays, and we have only taken one lot of cupcakes to school after the holidays for her birthday when she was 5.

So, for peace of mind and to keep strong as an amazing individual woman, make sure that you have this whole thing covered and decided in advance of the birthday.

It can be a source of strain and stress - why - because of the pressure we put on ourselves.

This is how you are being your individual gorgeous self - and so is every other school mom.

Tip 7 If you are too tired to do anything, try this

When you moved into your fifth year as a school mom - when your school kid was around 8 years old - you noticed that other school mums had also moved into their fifth year and had stopped bringing cupcakes to school.

There were just too many food intolerances to cater for, too much expense and too much hassle – it was just too much!

You saw a school mum in your class turn up with a huge brown bag which really had you confused because you wondered how could she be carrying her cupcakes like that - ahhh she didn’t have cupcakes – she had party bags!

She was the first one who had ever done that! She had ditched the cupcake theme altogether and had gone straight to the cheap discount store and filled her trolley with everything – what a great idea instead of a cupcake you thought for a moment.

But when you thought about it that night, as you were cleaning up the house in the quiet of 9pm, you realised how much ‘stuff’ there is in your world, and that the ‘stuff’ that your school kid received really was that, and you put most of it in the bin, with the exception of a pencil that your school kid liked. You really don’t need any more party bags filled with plastic itty bits of non-usable items, or lollies and candy made with toxic top-ups made in factories thousands of miles away.

And you reflectively wish that teacher-world could recommend another option to celebrate birthdays with the class that involved something yummy and memorable but was very different to a cupcake or a party bag!

And before long, the ultimate party hand-out from another school kid who had a birthday, arrives home in your school kid’s school bag – it delights your daughter, it delights you, it's healthy, it’s cheap and you wish you had thought about it for the past few school years.

Guess what it was?

It was a sticker!

If only you had known!