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You have all been getting ready for what seems hours and finally you have made it into the car, school bags packed and everything else done, and you are on your way driving the kids to school or the kids are old enough to get there by themselves.
Whatever their age, these 4 things can make your school run mornings feel good for your school kid - and you.
And there is one thing to make sure that you absolutely don’t say!
1. Always say goodbye with the kindest words – about your child.
Anything positive is a plus, but it is even more feel good factor if you can say something really wonderful that is only about them. Saying ‘have a great day” and ‘I love you’, are great but you can also add “you are so wonderful’ – every child is different as is every school mom but the thing is to find your happy goodbye that works between the two of you.
The drop off is a precious moment no matter what the age of your kids.
It is a ‘goodbye’ that is also loaded with wanting to tell your school kid to:
- have a good day,
- wish them well,
- know how much you love them – and every person on the planet loves to be loved and appreciated.
The thing is to find a goodbye connection that fills your heart and the heart of your kids.
This is why school moms are so amazing as we factor all of this into the minutes of our interactions with our kids. It is saying something that gives a smile to both of you.
Something that I found by chance was saying the word from the movie Mary Poppins “have a supercalificaristic’ day and she finished it off with “expialadioucisu”!
And she had the biggest smile – omg I felt like I had hit the jackpot to see her with such a big smile. And the joy that comes from knowing she was smiling as you drive away fills you with a glow on the inside that is such a “precious moment”.
And of course there is the whole change as they get older and you are not needed for morning drop off as your kids can make their way to school on their own, but the precious moment is still there but in a different form. You say it at the front door of your home rather than the front door of the school.
Filling your heart and theirs is something you can do in 30 seconds as they get ready to leave the house – and telling them how wonderful they are. Why because they were born – just like you.
2. Leave on a high note
Think what would you love someone to say to you – thank you for being you; you are a wonderful person; and you can say it every day – it can be the same thing you say, whatever is in your heart deep from the place and the space of unconditional love.
Some of my favourites –
- you are powerful;
- you are so fantastic,
- have a great day and thank you for being you.
3. Always clear the air if you’ve had a meltdown
Whatever the stress any one you may have had getting ready for school, and whatever the age whether it is a screamdown, meltdown or a shutdown – clear the air – No Matter What NMW before they get out of the car.
It is a long day to carry around a heavy heart – and even longer for your school kid because they are still kids, they are not adults and are still developing their emotional knowledge for learning about life. The thud of a slammed car door or front door feels like it has slammed on your heart – and it has in a way. Kids cannot always cope and nor can adults with the world, and in the rush of a morning, emotions can sky rocket and escalate into meltdowns, and often the reason is related to something that is sitting under someone’s emotional surface of another issue.
Whatever it is, it is so important for the health of you and your school kid to clear the air and melt away the meltdown with unconditional love. Let your kid know how much they are loved for who they are as a person as they share their beautiful bright light in this world, no matter what has happened.
This will help them to feel good about themselves and yourself, and this will help each of you have a day that resonates with a positive vibe and enjoy the day rather than sitting in a day that is drenched with a sadness and heaviness that sits in your heart and feels like it drags your feet all day.
I know because I have done it. We have had meltdowns together, and have been so frustrated and our hearts felt separated all day long with a heaviness I absolutely couldn’t believe.
Learning this has been a huge feel good improvement in our morning drop offs.
4. Before you leave home, check your kid’s timetable
If you get to remember doing this, try it because it really works. Pick one thing that your kid is doing that day – for example if your kid has Art on that day – then you can chat about it in the car.
It took me about four years to figure this one out!
After I realised that “reminding” my daughter that she has art today and getting totally blank dull vibe, I changed it to “I wonder what you will do in art today.” What happens is that it almost hangs out in the air exactly as if I had thrown a ball into the air – and sometimes she will catch it and want to play with a response like “yes we are doing clay” or she will let it fly past her and completely ignore it and stare out of the window but you can feel the warmth in the air. It is a comment that I feel is warm and keeps the atmosphere between us in a positive vibe.
I am amazed at how picking just one comment about one topic in her upcoming day makes such a difference and opens up a possible chat or sitting in a happy silence as we drive to school.
With more kids in the car, is this possible? It all depends but this is worth a go. I have heard other school moms who have 2 or 3 kids in the car, and how they argue the whole time, one wants the music on, one wants it louder the other softer and it sounds big stress. You can give it a go and ask each school kid about a subject they have that day. Who knows it could be the simple sentence that makes everyone feel good at drop off!
And whatever you do, don’t say this to your school kids on the school run…
Don’t lecture in the car.
If you need to go into “lecture mode” or teacher mode do it some place else- while you are walking, while you are at home.
You need to pick the ‘lecture moment’ very carefully, because it is very tempting to say something that they need to do or be kinder or listen to you – they are sitting in the car, still with nowhere to run or walk off to so it is very tempting to want to say something that you know you think they have to listen to you as they have your full attention.
I used to say things like ‘make sure you eat your lunch today’. This and other similar comments completely flattened my daughter and me. I sounded dull and it made both of us dull. It took the shine out of our day – and it was only 8.20am.
Make the most of this precious time to have some “precious positives.”
